I found myself a couple days ago saying how in the world am
I going to fix the sin I’m in? How in the world am I ever going to learn how to
rely on Christ alone and not myself? How will I ever be Spirit filled and live
a daily life truly for Him?
After asking those questions to myself, and with help from
this week’s Lord’s Day, He has shown me that in order to do those things there
must be complete submission and obedience and He will do the rest.
Feeling dirty and defiant to the Lord I entered church
service knowing that I was going to be spoken to. Knowing there would be
conviction and knowing that stuff in my life had to change.
I found myself sitting on the front row surrounded by sweet
college girls and one of my favorite families in the whole world. The man of
this family was encircled by three brothers that were a friend of his sitting
at a table across the way in our worship service.
The boys, crowded around this man they love, are beautiful
and fun as well as rowdy and a challenge. Just like every other kid, getting
them to mind the way they should is a task. As the service was beginning the
middle brother peeked back and saw his mom at another table and turned to the
man and said, “Can I go sit by my momma?” The man said back, “is there a chair
beside her? Of course you can go. Thanks so much for asking!”
I don’t know what emotion it was that hit me, but seeing
this picture of love and positive reinforcement completely broke me! All I
could think about during worship is that man’s love for that boy is like our
Father in heaven’s love for us! Only God’s is O so much more!
I am defiant and disobedient just like the defiant and
disobedient child who wants his way when he wants it. And that man was happy
and pleased just the way God is happy and pleased when I obey Him.
Now if that wasn't all this heart could take before the
sermon, our pastor announced that a man in our church who is almost 80 would be
getting baptized along with one of my sweet twenty year old friends.
Hearing that
those baptisms would be taking place after church hit me again with
unexplainable emotion like a ton of bricks.
What obedience! All I could think of when hearing this was
how much I would love to see the face of the Lord as He is pleased in these two
for their obedience in being baptized!
As our service continued I was in tears as I opened the word
to Psalm 145. Psalm 145 tells us of God’s wonderful greatness. It tells of how
faithful and kind, gracious, merciful and loving He is! Vs 17-20:
The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his
works.
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on
him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears
their cry and saves them.
The Lord preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he
will destroy.
So the questions I was asking myself last week about what is
it I need to do to fix this life of mine… I think there is nothing I can do. I
think my work is pointless and in vain if I try to fix the sin I’m in alone. It
is not me who fixes this life of mine, nor anyone else. It is God my Father who
is abundant in goodness, slow to anger and abounding in love. It is He who has
the power to save all who call on Him. He doesn't need us. We need Him! God
wants all of us to obey Him. He doesn't desire to see His children stuck in sin
or on an ocean of constant good and bad waves. He wants our submission so that
he can take our dirty heart and turn it into obedience reflecting Him.
Like the little boy he wants us to seek Him in our
wandering. Like the two who got baptized He wants us to read his word and do
what it says. Like the scripture we studied in church, Psalm 145, it is God’s
grace and mercy that allows me forgiveness and change. Jesus Christ is enough. I am not. He is able!
-LauraLBrown
Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as
obedient slaves,
you are slaves of the one whom you obey,
either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads
to righteousness?
But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin
have become obedient from the heart to the standard of
teaching
to which you were committed,
and having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.
I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural
limitations.
For just as you once presented your members as slaves to
impurity
and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness,
so now present your members as slaves to righteousness
leading to sanctification.
For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to
righteousness.
But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things
of which you are now ashamed?
For the end of those things is death.
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become
slaves of God,
The fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end,
eternal life.
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is
eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:16-23
